Despite hating he Daily Mail, the Mail Online and anything associated with the rag, I did lioke this headline, which I loved just because it was funny and probably encapsulated Prince Harry’s humour:
Kate Middleton Pregnant: Prince Harry sends ‘get well soon’ message from Afghanistan
I hope Kate Windsor, Cambridge, Mountbatten-Windsor, Windsor, SaxeCoburg-Gotha – or whatever her married name is, does get well soon, and congratulations are sent (if you are reading this Kate, hope its a girl!). The news was pleasant shock and the media when into Royal Overdrive mode with minute by minute coverage of the Hospital front, pictures of their marriage, and someone a montage of Princess Diana, unfortunately the media are modelling Kate as the new Diana which is wrong for so many reasons. I could probably understand the hype if this was the actual birth, but it’s not that will be a few months away, but we have almost minute by minute coverage of the hospital entrance and speculation about speculation.
The UK is not new to this instant media hype, for several weeks we had wall to wall coverage of the Jimmy Saville allegations, on almost every news channel, every day, every week ad infinitum.
I do wish Kate and William all the best, with the Budget looming it is a hard time to bring up a baby on a Soldiers salary, and even through most of the redundancies have been made in the Armed Forces I am sure Kate and William will have that at the back of their mind, the Cottage they are renting in Anglesey will need to be replaced next year due to ‘baby’ and will be replaced with a modest 18 Room Apartment in London, Kensington Palace – ‘Granny’ will be near by to babysit if they can still afford the London rents and to go out occasionally. Even if the budget does not stretch to the occasional ‘Cinema and Starbucks afterwards’ it helps that Gran lives down the road for childcare whilst Kate goes out to work – no problems with the soaring cost of Childcare for working Mums, though Great Gran seems to enjoy her free Pensioners Bus Pass, popping up all over the place so might cause a bit of friction!
It helps that Kate will still be a ‘working mum’ – two incomes will come in handy. Times are hard with the average UK incomes declining in real terms, and in a lot of cases in actual terms, as well; job security is something to value. I suppose it helps that Kate’s promotion prospects, along with William, are fairly good as well – the next rung up the ladder being ‘King’ is a brilliant prospect, though due to downsizing at ‘UK PLC’ ‘Emperor’ had to be dropped – the cut backs you know. Kate’s title in the ‘family business’ is either Princess or Queen, so a step up from Duchess – not to be sniffed at.
The Welfare Budget will be cut again in the Autumn Statement (yes I know it’s December, but you have to remember Osborne got the ‘cutting the deficit not the NHS’ mixed, that he has spent less on the NHS and incresed the Budget and will probably overspend £30 Billion by the end of the Parliament) so every little helps, shared accommodation at Kensington Palace with Prince Michael of Kent is just one of those things you have to live with, but again having your great cousins share the house helps with ‘baby’. Thankfully they have the Queens gynecologist as well on hand to help out with the medical side of stuff – so no ‘midnight taxi’s to Ante Natal and A&E.
The speculation of the baby’s career prospects are also being discussed, one hopes it’s a Girl just to piss the Church of England off, the prospect of the next but two Governor of the Church of England being ANOTHER woman might encourage them to get their act together. It is a shame that the next heir will probably be in about 50 years, but it gives the Church time to consider these things. A little morbid since the job only becomes vacant once Great Gran, Grandad, and Dad shuffle off this mortal coil, but hey its ‘dog eat dog’ in the job market during recessions, especially with soaring Youth Unemployment.
Of course because of Kate’s condition, the acute ‘morning sickness’ not being pregnant – though technically it applies to both, she could have twins – bang goes the family budget, they will need 18 rooms!
The media speculation on twins was tantamount to a pack of rabid dogs descending onto prey – twins, constitutional crisis, who gets to be Monarch! The solution could be as grand or as elegant as they want. An elegant solution would be the flip of a coin, ‘Dads head I am King/Queen/Questionable, it would be dignified, it could be televised, oh the hype they could indulge in, they could work up to it for months, keeping the pundits on the gravy train for years.
The grand solution would be a State Landau race down the Mal, preferably pulled by Footmen, half-naked, bronzed and waxed bodies gleaming in the summer sun, muscles rippling … wait, that was a private fantasy – whoops!
Of course whoever lost could do the ‘kiss and tell’ biography with serialisation in the tackier tabloids (is that an oxymoron ?), with the possibility of one of the twins relocating to accommodation in the Tower Hamlets area, well not so much the area, but the actual Tower, its time we had intrigue back in the Monarchy, nothing like a good disappearance to boost sales!
Personally I am looking forward to having a Lesbian as Monarch, firstly to diss of the Church of England to not only force them to recognise women Bishops but also to acknowledge the Gay Community (oh please, no argument about if Lesbians are gay, and I am not going down the ‘same sex attraction’ non-sense!), the State Wedding would be fun, something akin to Gay Pride Day in Amsterdam, where ‘the Queen’ competes with ‘the Queens’. I am sure the taffeta dungarees will be done tastefully (… I know I am indulging in stereotypes, but for pity’s sake its a bit of fun!). I would have gone for a Gay King, but we’ve had at least one, probably two so let’s go for equal opportunity here. The cry on the death of Elizabeth 1 of England and the succession of King James the 6th of Scotland and 1st of England was:
The King is dead, long live the Queen
Anyhow Kate, hope this made you smile a little and hope all is well.