The Met Office in the UK is explains that the reason for the bad weather is because the Jet Stream has remained stubbornly south this year, and that the rain normally reserved for Greenland is pounding the South West of England, as I left work this morning the trains from Plymouth were more or less aqua planing (well actually we wouldn’t run trains if that was true, but you get the drift and the sense of hyperbole just to keep ‘in the spirit’ of things). The Met Office has said it was the Jet Stream, the Bishop of Carlisle has been told, I imagine by God, that it’s actually all my fault.
When I say my fault it’s not my personal fault, rather the collective fault of the Gay Community and those people in society that are fighting for social justice – which is rather strange because God actually tells Christians to fight for social justice (read Isaiah, normally reserved from homophobes, but I have decided to reappriotate it!), and on the hand Jesus never mentioned the ‘gay thing’ well at least in public, it may have been in the notes for the ‘big rally’ planned for after Easter …
I feel rather special that God has decided to punish everyone in the UK and the US because I bonk blokes, I mean the deaths that have occurred, the damage, the untold misery of having your house destroyed by the floods – the devastation has been awful – I really wish God would be a little more careful in who he is punishing. I am not one to question the Almighty but I think it is a little ‘mean’ to vent on an entire country because of the LGBT Community.
I have to apologise to the Queen for causing the rain on her parade at the beginning of June, sorry ma’am
But God is a little ‘accident prone‘ at the moment, I suppose it’s the age thing, just rewinding the clock a little he started killing people with AIDS because of the rise in homosexuality which, as the Bishop of London said at the time, was nonsense in his view because God wouldn’t kill Babies to get at someone else, in fact his killing spree spread to people who had accidentally had blood transfusions, Nurses accidentally contracting the disease. Then there was the case of God getting pissy with the Archbishop of Durham.
I think it was the 80’s when in a coup de grace the Church of England appointed an Archbishop who didn’t exactly tow the party line and thought the resurrection was a conjuring trick – which was pretty odd since THE cornerstone of Christianity is the resurrection, anyhow to cut a long story short God was pissed of with the Archbishop he tried to burn down the Cathedral, the only problem he got York and Durham a bit mixed up and tried to burn down York Minster.
Obviously, being God, you sometime get distracted and the Thunderbolt just ‘misses’ – we are all human after all, apart from God obviously.
Perhaps it happened when God was chatting to the Russian Orthodox Priest and told him that he didn’t likle Pussy Riot and that they would be punished in this life and the next – being God is hard work at times, so much to do, so many people to yatter about, mistakes happen
People like the Bishop of Carlisle probably go on about how Equal Marriage is wrong, and how it will undermine society, how God is not happy – personally I think God is bigger than petty squabbles, is bigger than our politics, he did not send Jesus to suffer to die a gruesome death with a list a of exceptions on his mind.
I think contrary to popular opinion – God doesn’t hate Gay People, I think God loves us as much as you – and I think the Bishop of Carlisle should wake up from their bigoted and derisory stupor and start doing what his Boss says, not pandering to his own homophobia.
God doesn’t cause floods, God doesn’t burn buildings – what he does is fills people’s hearts with faith, compassion, and love so he can show us just how ‘big hearted’ we can be. My own bigotry likes to think if Jesus was on Earth today he would on Gay Pride March networking with the people he came to reach not sitting in a fusty Cathedral playing the blame game.